i love this poem

Telepathy - by Michael Dennis Browne

Today I explained telepathy to you, and telephone, and television, on the way to day care, and I said, sometimes when I'm at work I'll think of you, and if I could send you that thought with my mind, you'd get it right then, and maybe you'd smile, stopping a moment at whatever you were doing, or maybe not but just going on with it, making a mask out of paper plates and orange and green cards with markers and scissors and paste,or screaming circles in the gym either being a monster or being chased by a gang of them, but still you'd get the picture I was beaming and you'd brighten inside and flash me something back, which I'd get, where I was, and smile at.That's telepathy, I said pulling into the parking lot, looking at you in the mirror.

around the house

gio got a camera for christmas and has been taking pictures of things around the house - i think he's got a good eye...here are some of my favorites:

things to do besides watching TV

Gio is becoming more and more interested in t.v. these days and it's freaking me out- so i'm putting ideas of things we can do together on individual pieces of paper in a box. from now on when he asks to watch dora or diego, i'll let him choose a random piece of paper from the box, and we'll do watever is on that piece of paper. i expect each day to be an adventure starting now.

here is the inital list of ideas that i came up with just now - please send me more, i will add them and you can be part of our fun.

• make a 30 second movie about gio's feet
• draw pictures of dinosaurs
• make up a story about the first word that comes to mind
• make a 30 second movie about the first word that comes to mind
• take pictures of chui and mona
• take pictures anything you want
• make a 3 scene comic
• look at the visual dictonary
• play guitar
• make a card for someone you love
• go for a walk (even if it's raining)
• dance party!

freddy forever

my love for freddy is a quiet one - which is strange, given his flamboyance. he makes me strong and gives me permission to be myself -without guilt, apologies, or any second guessing.
thank you freddy. i miss you.

an ongoing list of things i like

• garage sales
• flea markets
• an afternoon beer
• pictionary
• avocados
• audio books
• the smell of old volkswagons
• number 2 pencils
• driving old cars
• ponzu
• giovanni
• dance routines

dear mike

my birthday is quickly approaching and i thought i would give you some ideas of what you can get me, just in case you were wondering. i'll add items here as i think of them, so bookmark this post and check back regularly. i love you and promise to act surprised.

• #1 gift idea: a Garmin running watch
• Faber-Castell Perfect Pencil Set
• Louis Vuitton Monogram Desk Agenda Cover
• Nike+iPod Kit for Running
• The Gentle Art of Domesticity
• New Running Shoes

37°51′50″N 122°34′53″W / 37.863804, -122.581336

mike, gio and i are headed to the san francisco next weekend, so i've been combing through memories for places to show gio and i cant stop thinking abour muir beach. it was my church between the ages of 18 and 28 - the place i would go to think, ground myself, and get away from everything. a small magical place where anything became possible - there's even a zen center right next door. i cant wait to show gio.

is it possible to long for something you already have?

i know i am genetically programmed to love this little boy, but this is insane! gio makes my insides melt any my mind go buggy. it's like a (platonic) teenage love affair without the fear of rejection - he consumes me and the best part is that he has no choice but to love me back....

breaking away

i rode 15 miles from seattle to issaquah this saturday. i left the house at 5:45am and was home by 9am , just in time to make pancakes for gio.

the ride was mostly on trails with lots of bushes and trees. for a while i pretended like i was in the movie breaking away, specifically the scene pictured above - i love that movie. anyways, i pretended to be the kid in that movie until i heard raccoons in the trees and became convinced that one of them was going to jump on my head.

irrational fears can always ruin a great fantasy.

secret life

i was never mexican enough to be a chola - the cute chicano boys in school always called me a weda. the closest i ever got is dating gangster boys that wore tres flores and listening to do-wop on my car's am radio.

history in the making

mike proposed to me on my 27th birthday.

he set a small card table with linens and proper table settings (like we were at a fancy restaurant) for a takeout meal from my favorite restaurant in berkeley, breads of india.

when time for gifts came, he totally delivered, starting with ELO's Out of the Blue before moving on to a proper proposal complete with bended knee and heirloom ring.

yesterday marks our 9 year wedding anniversary. i have no idea where that ELO cd is now, but i still love them and mike more than ever.

blah blah blog

i feel like i never have anything to say anymore

and i will be the next zola budd

i made the bold decision today to run 2 half marathons over the next year - writing it here makes it real and will hold me accountable.

when training i am going to pretend that i am zola budd, running cross country in the '84 olympics - and when i cross the finish line of each race, i will stretch my arms out as if to break the ribbon - and the crowds (mike and gio) will cheer at my victory.

• Seattle Half Marathon: Sunday, November 30, 2008
• Mercer Island Half Marathon: March 22, 2009
  

let the promises we make to ourselves be our most important

trying to pinpoint exactly when things went wrong

if i had to do it all over again

i would learn how to dance like chris brown

i am no interpreter of dreams: this can't be good

dream #1: i am somewhere i shouldn't be, doing something i shouldn't be doing - and my car gets stolen

dream #2: i am in a meeting at work and i am preoccupied by the thought that i need micro-dermabrasion because i am getting old and my skin is getting grainy.. every time i break though the preoccupation and have something to say, i edit myself and stay quiet

sometimes you suck, but i still love you

i hate that you get to sleep in until noon and i have to wake up at 7am and that you still complain about being tired even though you get to take naps in the afternoon. sometimes i think you leave the cooking spray out just to prove that i am not the boss of you. i wish you told me that i was pretty more often and that you made enough money for me to quit my job.

the luckiest girl in the world

this morning when gio nuzzled his head into my chest and slowly fell asleep, i realized that the sound of my heart beating makes him calm and quite. it's like he is remembering where he came from as he listens to the machine that made him hum, squish, beat and breath.